Monday, 21 January 2019


1. When girl or woman is on her period and she sits on a table, that table automatically becomes a periodic table......lol...(science student)...argue wit ya ancestors ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
2. After giving him all ur styles in bed, he stil says the person dat will marry u wil be verry lucky........my sister mix ur menstruation in his wine,add tramadol,kaikai,sniper nd dog shit! He is a satan.!!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒayemi temi bami๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
3. I lack trust for all these girls that visits me wit big big hand bags. I nearly lost my Vita foam nd Television, if nt for quick intervention nd collection......lol๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
4. Peter : my antelope in d bush ๐Ÿ˜‚
Girl : Peter baby ..how do u see my makeup
Peter : but baby,, u don't need make ups to look beautiful o...
WIFE : Oh Peter baby u ar so sweet.๐Ÿ˜
Peter  : Yes oo! U need plastic surgery,u are looking like bobrisky dis days......๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎhahaiahahahah......funke!!.........
She fainted, woke up after 40 days fasting nd prayer๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
5. To all de girls who visit their bf and put flight mode (air plane mode) in their fone.....weldone miss pilot, ur plane will crash one day.......mtcheeew....๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
6. Somebody wil hug u nd ur iphone will get missing, is that not a good example of "nigerian got talent"...๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘…
7. Benue state girls, pls it is not Ear force but Air force. Stop giving me headache!...๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
8. Dating a slim guy is romantic,, the problem is wen u sleep on his body nd his ribs start drawing addidas line on ur face........I laff in Japan kikokukojgjkjfkiio๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Chisos! Who throw dat stone??? Slim guys abeg no vex....na joke I dey๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
9. ADESUA Never Put Up A Picture Of BANKY W, Neither Did She Change Her Name To OLORI-Banky or Nkan BANKY Yet She Got The Ring๐Ÿ’
But You, becus One Guy Ask U Out, U'll upload 50pix, 15Vidoes & Change Ur Name To Olori G-wire, Mhiz-Funds BOO,
Weh_don_ma , HOE-LO-RI, Awon Slay Rubbish, Pepper Dem fools
Don't beat me, I'm on my period๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚...

10. Nations like USA and North Korea are testing ballistic missiles and Nuclear weapons......Our dear Nigeria is dragging Jollof rice supremacy with Ghana and Senegal.
Bikonu who swear 4 us like this?? ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

11. That awkward moment When you are too single that even when you type "kissing" auto correct changes it to "kidding."...... May your story change in this 2019 ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

12. People on WhatsApp that
their status has been "At the
gym" for the past 3
yrs..ah broda please are you preparing for
World war 4 ? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

13. You will tell a girl you're single and she will be like "Peter That can't be
Hanty, if you want toast, toast, don't be dragging my singleness
with me, is it your singleness??Mtchewwwww๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’

14. Boys in "best love stories"  will wake up by 2am to pee and they will post "Real Hustlers Don't Sleep"
Idiot ,ole,ritualist Who are You Deceiving???๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
Don't touch me ooo, Ah no well this evening.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

15. Yoruba people and their indirect insults sha. Please what is the meaning of "As I see that trouser, I just know say na you"ewoo๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
Wicked pple...๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
16.EPL Clubs and their ranking
1. Liverpool - Gold
2.Tottenham Hotspur - Silver
3.Man City - Bronze
4. Chelsea - Aluminum
5.Arsenal - Wood
6.Man-U - Mosquito Coil
Am in my house, Comma beat me...

17. My sister drag ur ears very well ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿ‘‚ Don't be fooled by these guys,.. Not all men in a suit are rich ....
Some are Choir masters......๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

18. When You Want to Charge your phone In a Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The DSTV during penalty shoot out..
shey you remember when your mum always tell you that your phone will kill you one day ?.. The moment has finally come.. Just get ready to die๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
19.One person I hate most
in this life is that MTN
girl dat always say " one
minute remaining " I
hate dat girl๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
20.You are feeling sad, and u tagged me ,am I with ur happiness? If u want to be sad pls be sad alone ๐Ÿ˜’
21.After dating you for 5 years and promising you marriage, he now broke up with you
Wipe your tears my darling, I know a native doctor in ijebu.
22 .Just heard my neighbor singing,
Am walking in power
Am walking in Oracle
I leave my rice for favour
Cos I know umahia.
Pls what should I tell her?
๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
23.Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:
ONE ๐Ÿ‘†, Is used when answering calls ๐Ÿ“ฑ.
TWO✌, The other one at home๐Ÿ  when
she is talking to her siblings๐Ÿ‘ช (Her Original Voice) ®
THREE ๐Ÿ‘Œ, Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”
24.Pls kindly ignore any news or rumor of me Diri Peter coming out for
PRESIDENTIAL election in 2019.
I have not declared my intentions yet, they are still begging me ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
25.At the age of 25 you cannot cook, wash clothes, sweep and you want men to love you for who you are...
Sister, please who are you??
26.Fat girls are the most selfish people in the world, dey will sit down
with mini skirt and u will see nothing.. ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
27.I don't even trust English
Why is it dat "Give her her book" is correct and "Give him him book is not correct"?๐Ÿ˜”
pls my  pple help me explain

Is English a female?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
28.How come you post on your birthday "Wow I can't believe am +1 today" so if you don't believe is we that will believe abi?!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
I can see the stupidity in you...๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

29. One thing with dis group is dat dey read ur post without commenting. If they eventually like it, to comment come be war.
But don't worry. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜„
I prophesy to anyone reading this post without  liking ND commenting
May boiled, fried, cooked,hot and cold  Thunder visit u  and may your phone catch fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ in chisus name. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„
I cannor comman kill myself ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Which number totori u pass ni ??


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